the big hurt.

Shades of blue...another monochrome vibe playing off of my medium blue bucket bag! This is what I decided to wear for my husband's birthday dinner with friends and a bit of fun (and new for us) Duckpin Bowling in downtown Phoenix. This was my last night before the Big Hurt on July 22nd.

I found this beautiful vintage Coldwater Creek skirt on Poshmark for a very low price. The waist is a little big but easily belted and the lacework is crazy beautiful!

here's a detail shot:

JULY 23RD ABOVE: is when it all started. The day before my husband's birthday I started to feel the big hurt, major pain, and I knew in my heart that it was some sort of Crohns bump in my years of minor issue/minimal pain for the most part!

Both of these looks for the slew of labwork that my doctor piled on. The week before, I had called my rectal surgeon emergency line and got on some antibiotics and meds to try to address my symptoms. It was also a relief to have a pain dosage to help me get through the worst of the pain.

As crazy as it sounds (probably) getting dressed and making myself look/feel presentable was really necessary for me not completely falling into a pity pit of despair.

We tried going places where I could adhere to my really strict low fiber diet with minimal veg/fruit/seasoning/sauce/ect. ect. The list goes on! Just looking at food content from other people or recipes or videos on instagram makes me queasy somedays.

For this meal, my husband got a beautiful chef board, and I got grown up mac n cheese (no bacon, just fancy cheeses mixed in)

A dog walking outfit above and below, just another mix of basics from my closet

I love the side slits in these clogs!

I discovered the dreamiest super chocolatey cake at a cafe near my house. Sadly, cannot eat the fresh strawberries til whatever is going on is solved! I am going to eat SO much fruit once I'm better!

Above, a dog walking and shopping outfit with some bold colors to brighten up my spirit.

we found a cool Isis sculpture but didn't like the red and blue accent paint. We also saw a really cool jumbo sized chess set.

This chiminea was almost perfectly what my husband has been dreaming of and the bird shape was SO unique! Sadly, the whole backside was badly damaged and cracked so we didn't think it was worht the project/fixing it would take!

I didn't get this ghostbusters-reminicent jumpsuit, but it was worth trying out

I also didn't get this halter antrhopologie top because it has WAY too much fabric and the ties are SO complicated in the back!

I DID get the above pink cowgirl hat and I LOVE it (my husband hates it!) and I also got this li'l baby straw bag (not really for babies, it's just smol).

We tried the BEST authentic Japanese hidden spot in Scottsdale, where I got this stupid-good ramen soup WITH DUMPLINGS! Do you know how hard it is to find noodles AND dumplings in soup around here? I was so stoked on my high carb-low most other things-diet !

We also decided since we didn't get to do as much birthday celebrating for my husband to do a little staycation up north.I also knew and was dreading a looming colonoscopy, so a little cabin trip and fresh mountain air seemed like a fun distraction!

Plus Axel had never been up in the woods AND we were supposed to go to California with my family this week and both feeling the sting of disappointment of canceled travel plains. Going to Cali had been something we were looking forward to months, so the cabin was our little mini trip to still get a bit of that vacation energy while also babying my sick body. Lots of rest, reading, sitting on the porch swing, and eating Danish Butter Cookies were in order.

After the trip, I wore one of my favorite outfits all Summer. Look at this skirt styled! I'm obsessed. I'm going to wear this a lot, for sure!

My husband dropped me off to shop when he went to the gym one of the days after my colonoscopy when I was anxious and trying not to think about the next step/biopsy results.

I found this above crochet granny square vest of my dreams, reformation shorts (FOR SALE), top I didn't get (below) and wide legged UO pants in corduroy like fancy sweatpants (FOR SALE)

I really debated selling the reformation shorts or keeping them for myself. They are new with tags so I decided to keep them listed until next summer and then I will think of keeping them for myself!

I also got this madewell eyelet pretty white dress that is a PERFECT fit and feels tailored for me!

I found this cool stranger things tee that my husband also thinks is really cool

My mother-in-law got Axel a new toy! He loves his li'l goat!

I know it's crazy hot but I can't resist wearing sweater vest because FASHON.

I also found out with the Colonoscopy that they couldn't get all the way to my small intestine, so I have to have a CT Scan to figure out what is causing the blockage. Great. More labs!

I had to counteract my hate for CT scans (that contrast fluid is SO GROSS and the machine is so COFFINLIKE) with one of my cutest outfits yet! I debuted my crochet vest and wore happy colors to cheer myself up. It was also harder because my husband was away with his brother doing a CO he had planned months ago and already had the tickets and a special movie premiere event planned so it felt harder being on my own for this. My parents were also away in CA. I would've felt so much more alone if it wasn't for all of my great friends and the fact that my husband calls and snapchats me lots to put me at ease and make me feel the love when he's away!

ABOVE: if you've ever had a Colonoscopy, you know the pains and suffering of prep and just how long it feels like you are waiting around in the hospital before it actually happens!

I've fallen back into graphic novels lately.

My husband has been plying me with chocolate chip muffins and they help me settle my stomach when I wake up after sleepless/anxious nightmares early in the mornings.

Axel is tremendous help and support as well!

 Above are some basic outfits I've been wearing to do life and get by.

It's been REALLY hard but I feel grateful for all of the people on my side that I care about and also for my medical team that is REALLY trying to figure out what's wrong with me and how to fix things...