healing feelings.

Right before my surgery, I did a bit of stress shopping. One of those purchases was a bundle deal of these too Bali by Elf princess dresses that were new with tags. One in white and one in black. Between the back party, lined linen breezy feel, and super puffy sleeves, I'm sold. I'm not sure quite when and where I will wear these yet...but I'm looking forward to making places and events to wear these and twirl around in!

I really do love both colors!

This was my first foray into the brand (below) this short version of the white dress with a higher cut back and asymmetrical hem. 

I wore this outfit on my last night before the surgery, September 16, when I was allowed to eat solid food before doing my full cleanse. If you're curious as to WHAT my 'last meal was,' it was grilled ahi tuna and macaroni and cheese. So good!

Here I am in the hospital, feeling dazed and out of sorts after the eight hour procedure. I was on a lot of medication and in MAJOR pain. It felt like a shark took a huge bite out of my stomach. The biggest relief was when my surgeon came in to say that the surgery went "as successfully as he could have hoped" THANK GOD!

I had some really sweet gifts and cards sent to me as soon as I released to go home, including two bouquets of flowers, a care package of Lush bath products, an amazon card to buy books, and some really sweet messages and calls from loved ones.

I did get some phantom hospital bruises like this shiner on my arm. 

Axel barely left my side. I was so worried that he would jump on my incision site (my tummy area) and perhaps cause injury, but he was SO gentle! Even going up the stairs, when he would usually rush, he took it so slow for the whole 3 or 4 weeks until I slowly got my strength back!

This was my first 'real outfit' in my healing process. I went bright and happy and tried to recapture the joy of dressing after many days of wearing a rotation of 4 or 5 different cotton baggy muumuu-type nightgowns. I'm avoiding tight clothes or any waistlines that press on my stitches. I need time to adjust to my healing body and am lucky to have the type of clothing variety to adapt. 

This was also my first time back at my computer, taking some notes for my food writing as well as my current writing project. I swear, I want to submit my first manuscript so badly this year and after going through such a major surgery, I feel newly motivated to get shit done and appreciate the mobility that I am slowly gaining back.

It's really crazy how I felt like I took for granted the most simple tasks that I was MISSING in my healing like doing laundry, doing dishes, going swimming, being able to hold my dog's leash during walks, helping my husband with massages and cooking/baking and general chores.

Shopping in public was also not an option for a while, and the thought of trying on clothes was terrifying for a little while.

Gamer confession: I fell back into Disney Tsum Tsum during the healing. For some reason, in my past times of surgery and healing, I'm always calmed and strangely distracted and brought happiness by throwing myself into some sort of videogames. Disney Tsum Tsum is a free app through Line from Japan that speaks to the puzzlemaster side of me. I really enjoy the challenges every month and the introduction of new and cute takes on Disney/Lucas Flims/ Pixar characters.

September was all about 'Titanic'--not a movie I've ever seen or particularly enjoy, but I was happy to get Rose in the box (it's also a bit like gambling as you get mystery boxes that could be a large assortment of 190 or so tsum tsums every time). 

My first store that I went to while healing was Masrhsall's Homegoods. In a surprise twist of fate, we found this dreamy marble rug that I fell in love with instantly and found it to be the perfect addition to our new set of couches we had ordered (my husbsnd went and sent me photos) from a major Big Lots sale.

I was also overjoyed when right after the surgery, my surgeon immediately encouraged me to "eat whatever you want" and my first meal at the hospital was actually spaghettie and meatballs with chocolate cake. Because cake.

My husband has been doting on me and bringing me croissants, coffees and cooking me delicious breakfasts to help me feel better in this rough recovery!

Axel has been the best boy too. He's so loving and in tune. Here's me trying on my doc marten sandals in the mirror when they arrived. They were at all time low pricwe of $50 on Amazon and I used some of my giftcard to try them out in a size 8. I had tried other doc sandals in a 7 and they were just the teeniest bit too small! This 8 feels just right. I'm typicall an 8.5 or 39. I really like the neutral vanilla/beige color too. I have trouble resisting ghillie inspired shoes in general. I'm hoping to break these in enough to have these be my go-to walking shoes on vaction and cruises (I hate wearing sneakers but will if need be). 

 What do you think? What has your last recovery period been like? Have you ever had major surgery? xx